submitted by: member wishes to remain anonymous
How to survive swinging as a single male
(submitted by a member of local swingers - thank you).
Ok, so you have joined a swinging site, therefore
presumably what you are looking for are no strings attached sexual
adventures? Well this is the place to
be, however if you are to be successful there are several things to bear in
lifestyle is dominated by couples, and
It is ruled by women
means that one of the most fundamental mistakes you can make is to assume one
half of the couple does not exist.
Ignore them at your peril. You
will get on far better if you talk to both partners and understand that you are
a guest in their relationship. Be
respectful to both and try hard not to jump into private saying just how many
times a day you masturbate over their photographs…. well not unless you want to
feel a fool, remember you don’t know to whom you are talking! Additionally you are not there to replace
anyone; you are there to compliment that which already exists. It will be the female that has the final say
on a male male female threesome, but she will not want her partner left out of
the equation as this will cause tension for them.
The best way forward is to go into the chat room on a regular basis, avoid the temptation
to advertise yourself thus: ‘male 32, large cock, wants fun now’. It will usually be met with a stony wall of
silence and/or ridicule, instead join the general chat. It may seem daunting at first but
persistence will be worth it, have a laugh with everyone there, let them get to
know you and this way you will become more accepted. Make no doubt about it, your life in swinging will not be an
entirely easy one, you will find hostility and down right rudeness from some,
but these fortunately are in the minority.
you stick to chat room rules, there is nothing more likely to secure
your failure than acting an arse in there.
Be absolutely sure about what it is you want out of
this and never ever mislead anyone.
Don’t be afraid to admit you are nervous and talk over any apprehensions
you have either with friends or other swingers. You will not be alone in your feelings…..most couples will
recognise that you are at a distinct disadvantage as you are walking into an
established relationship in order to have sex with one or more of the partners
in it. However if you feel uneasy at
any time, simply say no thanks and walk away, do not let yourself get into
situations where you feel you cannot cope, you are setting yourself up to
fail. And never ever play games…by this
I mean do not allow yourself to get involved in marital disputes, relationship
difficulties or any other emotional minefield, unless of course you flourish
under such dangerous conditions.
so two of the most important things to look at are firstly your profile (the
advertisement of yourself and your wide-ranging talents), and secondly how you
contact people. What is likely to make
you stand out (pardon the pun) from the rest?
A few pointers:
is not more when setting yourself up, one sentence on your profile = idiot, not
dark and mysterious alpha male.
you have a sense of humour.
shots as photographs are all very well and good (light them from underneath
boys it makes them look bigger).
However it can have the effect of making your crown jewels look like the
last chicken left on the supermarket shelf, so try and put some face and body
shots on too.
when mailing someone avoid the temptation for one liners ‘in your area today
fancy a shag’, does not inspire women to fall at your feet.
is ‘so what are you looking for?’ Read
Neither your profile nor your messages have to be in
essay format but please take some time to check that your spellings and grammar
are correct, and that you have given them a modicum of information about
yourself apart from your penis size and your ability to breathe through your
Ok so you’ve now worked on your profile, go into the
chat room regularly and have shown you are an all round Mr Nice Guy worthy of
sexual ecstasy (or at the very least a chance at it)……how do you know that the
couple or person you want to meet is too?
Well that’s the beauty of the chat room, it allows you to get to know
people a little better, however you can always ask others (privately of course)
let’s assume you have hit the jackpot and got a meet. Now what?
Well let’s take a normal example. You will arrange to meet the person or
people in a hotel bar, have a few drinks together and a chat and then if all
goes well, you will retire to the room to play.
you go anywhere, make sure you know what their rules are and ensure you have
articulated yours to them too. These
rules should remain fixed unless by mutual consent of all parties concerned.
you have your own supply of condoms and use them!
to pay half the room cost (this will vary with the amount of travelling you
have had to do).
if you are expected to stay the night.
they may be as nervous as you.
all men regardless of their testosterone levels, WILL, at some time, have
‘hydraulics’ problems, i.e. they will struggle to achieve or maintain an
erection and may have difficulties ejaculating. This is normal and temporary.
And finally…………..never ever wipe your dick on the